Reaching For You.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

RAIN DOWN

by Delirious

Looks like tonight, the sky is heavy
Feels like the winds are gonna change
Beneath the feet the earth is ready
I know it's time for Heaven's rain
It's gonna rain

Cause living water we desire
To flood our hearts with holy fire

Rain down, all around the world we're singing
Rain down, can you hear the earth is singing
Rain down, my heart is dry but still i'm singing
Rain down, rain it down on me

Back to the start, my heart is heavy
Feels like it's time to dream again
I see the clouds and yes i'm ready
To dance upon this barren land
Hope in my hands

Do not shut, do not shut, do not shut the Heavens
But open up, open up, open up our hearts

Give me strength to cross this water
Keep my feet upon Your altar, rain down
Give me strength to cross this water
Keep my feet, don't let me falter, rain down

it's so tough reading the book of Ecclesiastes (and i thought Proverbs was a challenge) because the title of the first chapter says "everything is meaningless". it's like what? why is there such a book in God's Word? it goes on to say "wisdom is meaningless, pleasures are meaningless, toil is meaningless..." and down to oppression, toil, friendlessness and that advancement is meaningless! it's like the total opposite of Proverbs where wisdom is described as one of the most important traits to have and here in Ecclesiastes it says that it's meaningless?! maybe i'll understand more as i continue to read that book because i'm only at chapter 6. it's depressing reading this book. eurgh.

i went for the consecration night in the west zone yesterday and we were praying for people to come for the alpha course. i was thinking how i can ask my non-Christians to come for it but it's difficult because it's for 10 weeks and religion's always a touchy subject. *sigh* but as i prayed with the rest i realised that if i don't ask anyone at all, all i will get is a 100% no. but if i were to just open my mouth to ask, there's a 50-50 chance that they might say yes. (so.. heh heh.. watch out friends!) and while we were worshipping God with songs of praise and worship i suddenly had a flashback of Cece Winans saying, "I am a woman who will continue worshipping God even if there's no one else to worship Him with me." ah, i pray that i'll be like that always and that my brothers and sisters around me can say the same too. :)

Left@| 11:24 PM

Thursday, August 25, 2005

man.. i just came back from giving tuition and i'm about to tear my hair out. it's not the first time i'm giving tuition to a huge class of 10 people but it might as well have been. i have no idea how to control them. the sec 4 e maths class was a dream, just that it dragged on long past the time it was supposed to end. we're supposed to finish at 9.30pm but i left the tuition centre at nearly 11! well can't blame them, they're so anxious about their prelims and they had tons of questions to ask.

the sec 2 science class was a total different matter. i just want to smack those idiotic b***** kids upside down man! i'm still boiling mad. (Lord, i thank You so much that You have the foresight not to put me in NIE. i would die having to teach these kids for the rest of my life.) these kids never know when to shut up! and they have the audacity to criticise me to my face. "teacher! i don't understand your explanation! you can't explain well!" like yeah, i wonder why, because you're not even paying attention. you're busy cramming food into your mouth and fooling around with the other boys. i can repeat an explanation in many different ways and they still can't get it. they can't even repeat in their own words what i just said because they're simply not paying attention. how on earth are they to understand then? and how many ways do they want me to explain what photosynthesis is? i only know it theoretically, so i can only explain to them in so many ways. if the girls and other boys can understand, i don't understand why those 4 monkeys can't. and i still have to teach them maths on saturday and i have a really long day on saturday. i've got to teach from 10am to 7pm (madness right?) and that's a total of 6 classes with no breaks in between and the classes are even bigger, up to about 15 kids in a class. unfortunately for them, theirs is the second last class for the day. they better pray hard that i won't be temperamental by then. Oh Lord! give me strength!

*sigh* even though i've finished reading Proverbs, it's so hard to keep in mind the commandments given in the book. in Proverbs 29:11 says, "a fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control." and i have to keep reminding myself of this verse even as i give tuition because i don't want to be a fool. after reading this book, i realise the importance of wisdom. (Proverbs 2-4) so as the Lord continues to test my patience, i've got to learn how to control my temper. tomorrow's another 4 and a half hours of teaching sec 3, sec 4 and jc maths. hopefully it'll be easier on me. *sigh*

Left@| 12:28 AM

Monday, August 22, 2005

photos from our cell's crazy outing at sentosa on saturday!

i'm finally well again. it sucks to be sick for so long cos i can't smell or taste anything much. actually God spoke to me last, last sunday during the worship service and He said, "be wary, My dear. the enemy's eye is upon you and you've got to gird your sword and armor. be strong during the battle for I will be with you always." i was really scared cos i'm so not ready to fight any battle yet since i haven't finished reading the Word of God and i don't think that i've got unshakable faith yet. i dreaded the coming week and i was waiting for some huge quarrel with my parents or with my friends or that on sunday my playing would be like that horrible time i crashed or something horrifying to happen.

i fell sick on monday and on wednesday i realised that my battle was my sickness. i don't remember being sick for this long, unless you count having chicken pox, and everyday i can't do more that wake up and eat and fall back asleep cos my medicine was making me really drowsy. it was such a trial because i could barely start reading Proverbs, not to mention read the pile of books by godly people that i'm taking really long to go through. so i think the devil's plan was to stop me from reading my Bible and any other material that will strengthen my faith and to keep me from praying and listening to God. i was really terrible the first 2 days, i didn't even force myself to stay awake long enough to finish half a proverb before going back to sleep again. but on the 3rd morning, God was practically yelling in my ear to keep me awake, "cheryl!! are you going to let the devil draw you away from Me any longer? whatever happened to holding your ground? you're not even trying to fight!!" man, i'm glad it's all over now.

i've been wanting something for a while and i've been praying for it to happen. but on saturday, God told me that He has something else in store for me. the stubborn me was going "no! i don't want this! i want something else! it suits me much more!" i was quarrelling with God all the way home. but when i went home, the very first verse i had to read for the day was Proverbs 16:1 "To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue." and as i read along, verse 9 said "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." and even yesterday when i did my quiet time, Proverbs 19: 20, 21 says "Listen to advice and accept instruction and in the end you will be wise. Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." haha. God's proving it to me that His ways are better than mine. and of course, that's true. obedience is better than sacrifice. :)

Proverbs 21:30 There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord.

Left@| 1:42 PM

Thursday, August 18, 2005

love the new look of my blog? decided that the look was getting a little boring so i decided to change things up a bit. shaun put it up for me cos i'm such a com idiot. haha.

went for worship practice in church yesterday and i noticed that i was the only lady there! hmm.. didn't realise that our music team is dominated by the guys. girls! time to rise up! :)

i finished reading the book of Psalms on saturday and i've decided to start on the book of Proverbs. it's tough to read this book because it's like a book of rules and commandments. i read this on tuesday; Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." and it just ties in with what i read in bobbie houston's book. God calls for us to be women of strong resolve. one thing that bobbie said in her book is about the importance of holding our ground. we have to hold our ground during battles, but we also have to learn how to hold our ground when there's no actual war in sight. ground can be relinquished easily, especially on days where the most exciting thing that we did is to get our daily mail. "sometimes (we) forget who we are because we aren't wearing our Sunday best." and this can happen to us when we have no discipline. "discipline simply means to be trained. such a woman realises that first and foremost the Word of God will effectively train her. she also realises that life's experiences can train her and she also understands the importance of godly friends, who will steer her in the right direction. if you don't have godly friends, pray them in, and then never forget to be one yourself." so don't think that you can lay off the Word of God for a day. you'll be losing one day's worth of training and disciplining.

i read again, today, about discipline in Proverbs 10:17 "he who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray." you don't just neglect yourself when you don't heed discipline, but you also LEAD OTHERS ASTRAY. serious business, ain't it? so make sure you check yourself before doing anything next time. i've got to remind myself too. it's so easy to shrug off people's criticism but if you don't heed the wise ones, you'll never mature. if you desire to succeed in life, it is pointless to try and avoid discipline. discipline comes with the territory and it's worth noting that undisciplined soldiers often perish, undisciplined athletes usually lose and undisciplined farmers usually miss the harvest.

Left@| 8:37 PM

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

ah... i've been sick ever since monday morning. it sucks to have a terrible flu especially in this hot weather. :( can't even read my books cos my medicine's making me drowsy and nothing's registering even when i try to read.

was reading the newspapers this morning and guess what was in the straits times?!!!!!! apparently the australian government wants 20,000 people to migrate there in order to fill up their job vacancies. *wriggles eyebrows* buddy!!!!! you reading this? might be a sign from God!!!!! *grins* and one of the jobs that they really need people is accounting!!!!! like woah..

my tuition teacher just confirmed with me last night that i'll have to relieve him for tuition next week. and it's just in time cos i'm running out of money!! gotta do something about the way i spend. anyways, God is great! i didn't even ask for money but He blessed me with it. :) isn't He awesome? and it's not the first time. even before i left for Sydney i was trying to find some job that'll need me for a few days so that i could earn some extra cash before going to Australia. i was racking my brains cos which job will take you for a few days only? but God gave me this wonderful tuition teacher who coached me all the way from secondary school to jc and is now helping me financially unknowingly. our God is amazing!!!

something that struck me while i was doing my morning devotion just now:
Romans 12: 1-8
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will. For by the grace given to me I say to everyone of you: do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgement, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given to you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully."

Left@| 1:17 PM

Monday, August 15, 2005

on my way home yesterday, i was listening to my mp3 player as usual and the song "I'll Stand By You" by Girls Aloud was playing. it's a secular song but somehow i can imagine God singing the song to his darling children.

I'LL STAND BY YOU
Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
Cos i've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm alot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
Don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
Cos even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

And when, when the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own

Left@| 11:37 AM

Saturday, August 13, 2005

went to the carnival at marina yesterday with my dearie. it's not as nice as they make it to be in the adverts or on the website. i was especially excited to go to the area which they labelled "local brands village", expecting local designer clothes or something and guess what brands they had there? NTUC fairprice, yeo's drinks, singtel etc. like what? and it was a really small area. man, it was like a waste of time going there. people, if you ever think of going there and if i'm not wrong tmr's the last day, don't eat the food there. it's overcooked and kinda tasteless.

just came back from a wonderful cell meeting. it's great to see God working in these darling people's lives. you just can't help but be encouraged to do more things for God and His people. :) i worship led for the first time and i never realised how nerve wrecking it could be to lead the people to worship. personally i think i flopped big time but where i am weak, He is strong. Amen! God needs your heart more than anything else when you worship Him.

one thing that i was sharing with my brothers and sisters today was about The Chronicles of Narnia, a book by C.S. Lewis. in the first book of the story, this boy, Diggory, has a wacko uncle who made rings that could transport you to another world and he tried it out on Diggory and his friend. when they got transported to the other world (Narnia) it was totally pitch dark with nothing around. then they saw this lion walking around, singing. wherever the lion went and sang, flowers and trees and plants started shooting up. as it continued to walk and sing, animals started coming out of the ground. the lion later chose 2 of every animal to lead their kind. it somehow reminded me of God in Genesis when He created the world. These creatures would talk and the children could understand them but somehow the uncle, who is supposedly a wizard, couldn't. in fact, he panicked when he saw the animals and thought they were going to attack him because all he heard was roaring and trumpeting and growling instead of voices speaking. the children later questioned the lion why the man couldn't hear it speak and it said that the man had turned a deaf ear towards it and refused to listen to the voices around him and to comprehend them. the man therefore will not be able to hear anything other than all the roaring and trumpeting and growling. and it just reminded me about us and God. if we turn a deaf ear towards God, will we be like the man, unable to recognise God's voice? unable to understand or hear what God is trying to tell us? are we forever lost to God like the man was to the lion, who was the creator and king of that world, if we turn a deaf ear to Him and refuse to acknowledge Him for who He is?

Left@| 10:54 PM

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Psalms 139: 13-16
For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.

haha. really sorry about my previous post. i did say that i'll TRY to cut down. guess it didn't work. *grins* anyways, i just got off the phone with my would-be guitar teacher! haha. i haven't even had my first lesson and i kinda pissed him off already. haha. he asked me if i had a guitarist i'd particularly like to follow and i said nigel hendroff again and he said he can roughly teach me but he doesn't really know his style. then he asked me if i like any bands that i want to play like and i went "like what? simple plan?" and he said that he was offended. hmmm. are they really that bad? thought their electric guitar's quite ok though i'm not a big fan of theirs. haha. then i asked him what kind of bands he was talking about and he said the beatles and some pink floss band (??!!!!!). and i continued to offend him (the horror!). he said that i have to buy a kappo and i went "oh! the kapok ah!!" and he said no, that's a bad way of saying it. i'm supposed to pronounce it as "cap-po". hmmm. i always hear my fellow musicians in church say "kapok". haha looks like i have to unlearn a few things.

went to watch charlie and the chocolate factory with my dearie yesterday. i felt so cheated. we watched the show at great world and before we went into the cinema they had this poster outside saying the when we watch the show we'll be able to smell the aroma of chocolate in the cinema. needless to say, there was no aroma in the cinema except from the huge tub of popcorn of that a little boy was hugging 2 seats away. (actually, he looked a li'l like the augustus gloop boy. augustus gloop, augustus gloop, he's such a big fat nincompoop... oops!) it was a so-so show. don't watch it unless you've got the extra cash.

Left@| 9:33 PM

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

hmmm. i'm basically a talkative person so i tend to have a lot of things to say even when i blog. hee. don't mind me. :) but a lot of people have been telling me that my entries are too long so yup, i'll try to cut down as much as i can to avoid people getting bored by me. haha.

well, i've always appreciated the wonderful people around me but not as much as i have recently. i really thank God for blessing me with such amazing friends that accept me for who i am and encourage me constantly when i feel down. being a pessimist, i feel down like 90% of the time. which sucks. but God blessed me with 3 friends who have stuck by me all the time, hearing me whine and complain about anything and everything (don't you just pity them?). ah, how awesome is our God. :) He sends us darling people to support us lest we feel alone or helpless.

i remember one of the lecturers from my school saying something about people very clearly. he teaches the students studying for a master degree in one of the top 5 universities in the world and he said this, "network, network, network. without connections or people, a degree is worth nothing." like wow. isn't that in accordance with the Bible? God's passion has always been about the people and about people being unified. Psalms 133:1 "how good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!"

i've been wanting to learn how to play the guitar for a very long time. it's a passion that went dead for a while because i was really busy and it got revived again when i came back from sydney. (i know i talk about the trip a lot but it's a huge turning point in my life. i think i'll be talking about it even on my death bed. haha.) i've been checking out the prices of guitar classes online and the ones at Yamaha cost $47.25 a month! it's like i don't that kind of money lying around! i got really disappointed and started to think of ways to save up the money for the classes. but our God knows everything, Amen! He blessed me 2 weeks back when a friend whom i haven't been in contact with for some time just sms-ed me out of the blue and said, "hey cheryl. i've got a friend who gives guitar classes to students. i'm thinking of asking him to teach me, wanna join me? he said that he doesn't mind teaching you and the lessons will be FOC." i was like "WHAT??????!!!!!!!!! you gotta be kidding me!!!!!!!" isn't our God so, so, so, so awesome? He anticipated my needs even without me asking Him! Praise the Lord! i just bumped into the guy just now and he's a Christian too! he asked me what i wanted to learn during the guitar lessons and how far i wanted to go. my first reaction was "nigel hendroff or better!!" haha! it's going to take a long while man. :)

Left@| 11:10 PM

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

i was reading Psalms 126 to 130 this morning and Psalms 126: 1,2 says "When the Lord brought back the captives to Zion, we were like men who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy." and that's how i feel ever since i came back from sydney. it's like i've been set free from all the wearies of the world. all that matters is God and God alone and i can't stop praising Him. :)

it's so hard to remain happy all the time, however. problems try to bring you down and a lot of times i wonder if that's a challenge for me or if it's the enemy trying to bring me down. it's so hard to differentiate between the two sometimes. but if it's the latter, i'm really glad because it means that i'm doing things that God wants me to do correctly till the devil has to bring me down. :) it's at times like this when i'm starting to feel low that i've got to learn to live a lifestyle of resistance. i've got to learn how to smile and drive the old devil crazy so that he will flee (James 4:7). a spirit of thankfulness and a spirit of gladness do wonders for the human heart. when you're starting to feel disheartened, smile and think of all the awesome things that God has done for you and give thanks to Him.

as i continue to read Bobbie Houston's book, it's amazing to see what God has done in her life. she encourages women that we have to be women of strong conviction. we have to discover our purpose and understand whatever it is, it is all worthy. "And there is no one as worthy as you to fill that position. No one can be mum to your child quite like you can. No one can stand beside and complete your husband like you. No one in the Body of Christ can fill your individually designed position as perfectly as you. And when you understand the power of this, you feel complete in yourself and find yourself complementing the Big Picture as well." a woman of strong conviction will pursue an understanding of this truth and once she understands and recognises it, she will not allow anything to steal her passion. so whatever you find yourself involved in, believe with every fibre of your being that God has called you to a most excellent, most exciting and most worthy cause!

Left@| 5:16 PM

Monday, August 08, 2005

PSALMS 122:1 "I rejoiced with those who said to me, 'let us go to the house of the Lord.' "

i definitely rejoiced with the wonderful people that i went to the FOP with. it's so great to see so many people so passionate for God. Rev Colin Dye is one great preacher (though sharon says that he looks and moves like a magician) and his messages about apostolic faith were packed with power. he asked "what revelation of Christ do you carry?" and that set me thinking... and thinking.. and i'm still praying about it. haha. but i hope the main revelation of Christ that i carry is His passion for God and His people. His kingdom is really all about the people; people being saved, people serving, people growing to love Him more and more each day, people trusting in Him etc.

when i was reading my Bible this morning, i was attracted to this sheet of paper stuck in the book of Matthew. it's been there for a really long time but i never really took notice of it somehow. it was one of the lessons i learnt when i was still in my youth cell and it's about motivation. Matthew 14: 13, 14 talks about God's motivation and that is compassion for the people. everything that God does, He does it for His people. something i'm still learning is to have a heart for God's people. it's always tough working with people because all of us are so different. some are really nice and sweet, gentle and understanding. some, you just wanna strangle them and hope and pray that they fall off from the face of this earth. but ephesians 6: 12 says "for our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." so practise in front of the mirror smiling while thinking about someone that annoys you a lot so that when you'll be nicer to the person when you see him or her next. you can tear your hair out in the safety of your room but don't blame me when you've got holes in your hair.

Left@| 2:36 PM

Saturday, August 06, 2005

PSALMS 23
The Lord is my sheperd, i shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.
Even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You annoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and i will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

FOP was not bad yesterday. Hillsong was good and even though i've never heard Delirious in my entire life before, they're pretty cool. heh. but what made the difference was the people i was with and that we were worshipping in Spirit and in Truth. Praise the Lord!!! :)

even though i woke up late again, God has already blessed me with His Word and i'm so in awe of what He has given me. i'm trying to read 5 psalms everyday cos it's a must to read the Bible everyday and that's when i get refreshed by God. :) i thought psalms would be a great book in the Bible to read especially when you're trying to write songs. it's always great if the lyrics of the song are from the Bible so that the congregation will be singing the Truth. can you imagine me writing a song that describes the wonderful visions that God blessed me with and making the whole congregation sing it with me? my goodness. i'll be making them a bunch of liars! haha! so what better way than to start with a book that praises God so beautifully?

i read psalms 111 to 115 just now and so many verses jumped out at me. psalms 111:10 says "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow His precepts have good understanding. To Him belongs eternal praise." what really struck me was that "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom". i never knew that. somehow i always put them under separate categories like wisdom was linked to knowledge from God so as to do His will and to lead His people and fearing the Lord was always well, fearing God. we learn something new everyday. :)

something i've been praying for is unshakable faith in God and psalms 112:6,7 says "Surely he will never be shaken; a righteous man will be remembered forever. He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord." and it's like "hey! God hears me!" haha. but the amazing thing is that this verse was written centuries ago. awesome ain't it? :) i'm going to meditate on this verse big time man.

Psalms 115:1 "Not to us, O Lord, not to us but to Your name be the glory, because of Your love and faithfulness." and that should always be the way right? all our gifts are God-given, therefore we should give Him the praise and glory due to our Lord and Saviour. ask the Lord to reign in your creative drive because we're called to be radical worshippers. when i was reading darlene zschech's extravagant worship she said in one chapter that creative people often feel the need for attention and that's so true. i've shared with the beautiful people in the young adult cell that i'm in, about the time i crashed in the middle of a worship session. everything just blanked out and i just didn't know what to play next. i was panicking big time cos this had never happened to me ever since i started serving in the music ministry which was about 6 years ago. it was a huge lesson to learn about humility. God had to bring me down from the pedestal that said "i'm good because i'm good" and not because of His grace and blessings. false humility, which is a form of pride says, "love me because i'm gifted!" but true humility says "let me use my gift to show you how loved you are in Christ". and that's the way we should treat our talents, blessing His people in turn because He has blessed us with wondrous gifts. we were put on this earth to serve God and His people, not to be served!!

i admit that a few weeks right before i went for the Hillsong conference i wasn't really playing in the Spirit ever since i crashed during that worship session and it was so obvious to me, and i don't know how many of you, that i was playing using my talent and not in the Spirit and using my talent to praise God. i became stagnant in my playing and even my dad who sings out of tune and is not very musically inclined told me, "the new style that you're playing on the piano sounds horrible. it's really horrible." might be harsh for my dad to tell me that but i appreciate honest criticism cos it makes me a better person after learning from it and of course my playing will improve (hopefully) in the following weeks. but when my dad told me that i was thinking, "what new style? i didn't change the way i've been playing." and that really struck me that i'm not GROWING! and the reason why i was playing in church was so wrong! no wonder i kept getting "dry" when i served God and i got tired and impatient easily. but i'm so different now. the conference somehow cleansed me. God puts us through the fire but the furnace is a refining fire, a purifying fire, as Bobbie Houston describes. it gets rid of the nonsense, the garbage, the facade and whatever that prevents Christians from reaching their fullest potential. tough lesson that i learnt, but i wouldn't exchange it for anything. God always knows what's best for us, and always does what's best for us and His timing is always PERFECT. AMEN? our God is an awesome God and He reigns from Heaven above with wisdom and power and love. Praise You Lord!!!

Left@| 12:01 PM

Thursday, August 04, 2005

just finished my morning devotion and read a li'l of bobbie houston's book again. :) my mum keeps nagging that i should go find a job since i still have abt one and a half months before school starts but i love it that i have so much free time because i can go catch up with friends and learn new things and mainly, to spend more time with God especially after the visions He gave me during the conference.

when i was reading bobbie houston's book, one part of it really struck me was when she emphasized on faith. Hebrews 11 is a wonderful chapter in the Bible that shows us that all the great men of God did things in a step of faith. though our Father gave them promises, some of these people never actually saw these promises happen, but yet they followed God and His Word in steps of faith. they were inadequate and they were hesitant, but they trusted and obeyed the Lord. when i read it, it was like "wow! these people don't even know where they're going or what they have to do but yet they were willing to obey God." shows us how much they loved our Almighty God right? and i guess that's what we have to do. though the future roads may seem bleak and scary, we just have to trust God because His Word tells us that He will lead us by our right hand to do His Will. as joyce meyer said "even if you're afraid of doing what God wants you to do, then do it afraid!" that in itself, is a great step of faith.

sometimes i ask myself, how do i grow in faith? and i have learnt that the answer comes from Romans 10:17 which says "faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God." our Father desires us to have the same conviction as Moses and the men and women in Hebrews 11 - a company of people who chose to grow in faith. something i hope i'm achieving - unshakable faith in Christ. one thing i dreaded during the conference was that it will have an end to it and that when i come back to singapore, everything will be back to normal. but after experiencing such great things there, i didn't want to come back and let things be normal anymore. i prayed really hard on the way back to singapore on the plane (i think i looked like a pig who was sleeping throughout the 7-hour journey) that i wouldn't lose faith in God and that i'll be as passionate and crazy abt Him like i was in sydney. i didn't want it to "just" be an experience. and i really am amazed that God is so faithful to me that He has given me this neverending thirst for Him that i'm still the same passionate and energetic bunny (you know the ad for the duracell bunny? just that i'm many more times bouncy and i'll last much, much, much longer) for Him as i was in sydney, trying to do His Will each and everyday. yeah!!!!! :)

another thing i learnt during the conference is to be accountable to others, so that you may maintain a good relationship with God. sharon's my buddy and she's been helping to push me to understand God better and to serve Him with all my heart. if there's one thing i've learnt from all this, is that i always have to bring excellence to God. 2 Samuel tells us to give our finest. never short-change God. so i encourage you to find a buddy that will push you as hard as sharon or auntie christina (my mentor) pushes me and you'll find yourself maturing mentally and spiritually a whole lot more. sometimes i really pity them that they have to deal with a person like me who keeps asking questions like "why?" or "when?" or "how?" (what can i say? i'm an inquisitive person. haha.) but i thank God that He has blessed me with such wonderfully patient (*ahem*) and understanding (*ahem*) people around me. in turn i try to inspire others and to give them something to follow so that all of us may grow together. all of us have different races to run but God doesn't just want us to run our race well, He also wants us to bring as many people as we can along with us to the finishing line. we live in exciting times, don't miss a moment of it. :)

Left@| 11:43 AM

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

oh yes, i've joined the blogging mania. weird thing is, i've always disliked blogging. i've always thought that when you have a diary, that's where you can write all that you wanna say without having people to criticise you or laugh at you. i mean a diary's supposed to be stashed away in a safe place where no one can ever read your deepest, darkest secrets right? but God proved me wrong. i love it when He proves me wrong because it reminds me that i should depend on Him and not myself or anyone else. i've learnt that blogs can spread things around and i thought "hey! that's a great way to let people know what's happening to me and how much God's been blessing me and hopefully, learn something from what i've learnt." i've been reading bobbie houston's "i'll have what she's having" and she says in one page that readers are the most blessed because they don't have to go through hell and back like the writer had to, to learn a lesson.

i've titled this blog "Reaching for You" because we need to put Jesus in mind in whatever we do and our main aim is to fulfil God's will in us, isn't it? and the song "reaching for You" has always been an inspiration to me and it's a song that describes how i feel abt God.

REACHING FOR YOU
I can't believe the way your love has got a hold on me
Each morning I wake to find You near
You lift me above my fears and set my feet on solid ground
All of my days belong to You

And I breathe in Your breath of life that fills my heart
You are my all consuming fire

I stand here before You in wide open wonder
Amazed at the glory of You
The power of Heaven revealing Your purpose in me
As I'm reaching for You

sometimes i really wonder how people manage to write such songs that just make you wanna cry and i guess that's the difference between a song that's annointed by God and one that's not. before i went for the Hillsong conference i could never write a full song somehow. it's always either the lyrics are missing or the melody's missing. sometimes even though with either components of the song, it just seems so off somehow. and there i was thinking that i didn't have it in me to write a song. but 2 weeks ago, God blessed me and He came at a time when i didn't expect it: when i was so, so tired i would just fall into deep sleep when my head touched the pillow. "cheryl, wake up! i've got something to tell you." and this lazy bum just went "now? can't You come back tomorrow? i'm dead tired and i wanna sleep." God pestered and pestered me and i was wondering what was so important that He couldn't leave it till the next day. so there i was, half asleep at 2am in the morning, poised with a pen and paper cos God said to get them. next thing i knew, a whole barrage of words filled my head and i started to write them down. "i'm done. happy now? i'm going back to sleep." and just when i was abt to conk out again, there was this melody in my head and it just wouldn't stop playing. like ok, what now? so i got up again and looked at the words i just wrote. it fitted the melody PERFECTLY. i was like "wow!!" and couldn't go back to sleep for a while cos i was busy recording the tune and putting some touches to the song. i was just so in awe of God that He was willing to use me even at a time that i wasn't willing to be used and He just blessed me so much even though i was disobedient. what wonders i can do through Him when i'm willing and obedient? He's so forgiving and full of love. so people, remain faithful and obedient to God and He will bless you beyond your imagination. Psalms 37:4 says "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." AMEN!!!

i guess i've changed quite a bit ever since i came back from sydney. ah, that blessed, amazing trip that has helped me sit up and notice things around me and made me mature so much. how i wish i'm back in sydney! (anybody psyched up to go for next year's conference?) we were having such a great time there that we were tempted to tear up our tickets so that we didn't have to come back! haha. i learnt so much from this one experience; teamwork, attitude, leadership, musician-ship, song-writing, worshipping God in Spirit and in Truth, transitions and the importance of "new" in the church. and there's still so much more! when i was there one thing that struck me the most was the passion that the people had for God. it was astounding. they're always, ALWAYS singing and praising the Lord and they also have a passion for His people.

praising and worshipping God comes naturally now after seeing how blessed i am by God esp recently, it's like what on earth was i doing last time? some friends have commented that they've never seen me so radiant and so energetic. but that's because i'm charged up for God!!!! i remember one thing that Reinhard Bonke said. he said "don't go from place to place trying to seek for new annointings. whatever happened to the old ones?" and that's so true. i guess the reason why i'm so charged up now is because i know now what i am here to do and loving God and reading His Word each and everyday has brought new revelations to me that keeps me refreshed in the Spirit, not because i've got new annointings. Jeremiah 29:11 says " 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' " isn't that amazing? His Word is the Truth and from it we can glean the fact that He is holding our hand as He leads us to the Promised Land and should we fall, He will be there to pick us up. how awesome is our God. :)

Left@| 5:34 PM

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